Musings by Melissa

Confession time:  I hate to shop.  I’d much rather be at home or doing something outside… even mowing the lawn!  (Seriously, I do enjoy mowing!)  And sometimes my disdain of shopping is a tad embarrassing.  I mean, my almost 12-year-old went to the mall, and what was he enthralled with?  The escalators!  My 4-year-old didn’t know how to navigate them.  Eek!  I suppose by today’s standards, I’m doing my children a serious disservice by keeping them from such wonders as escalators, fast food courts, and stores of things just waiting to be bought.  I mean, isn’t that what Americana is all about these days?  Buying, buying and more buying.  Which, of course, often leads to debt, debt, and more debt.

I guess my philosophy is rather simple.  If I don’t expose myself (or my children) to all the *stuff* that is available, we won’t desire it.  Oh, there are some things we need: toothpaste, food, clothes, crib bedding, blankets, etc.  But do we really need a special pan to cook spaghetti in?  Our grandmothers made spaghetti just fine by dumping it into their handy colendar.  Besides, if I buy that special pan, then I’ll have to find a place in my kitchen to put it.  And likely, there won’t be room.  So, I’ll either have a messy cupboard, or I’ll end up bemoaning my “small” kitchen.

I’d use some other examples of odd things that people just can’t seem to live without, but we tend to avoid stores, and since it’s been awhile since we’ve graced the doors of our local mall, examples are hard for me to come up with.

Oh here’s one… a S’more making “kit.”  What’s so difficult about s’mores that it now requires a whole kit?!?  A fire, a roasting stick, some graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate.  And oh, a match to get the fire started.  I can get all of those things at the grocery store for under $5.  Why would I want to spend $20 for the “kit?”  I don’t get it.  (And by the way, if you’ve never made s’mores in the microwave, you’re missing out.)

Yes, this works with our children as well.  By avoiding stores and the scads of catalogs and TV commercials, our children are content with what they have.  Ask them what they want for Christmas, and you’ll likely hear, breath mints … shells for my shotgun … or more likely, “Nothing.  I have everything I need.”

Commercialism is such a part of our society, that we have become immune to it.  Or have we?  Are we content with what we have?  Or are we always striving for more?  Why do we want that new “XYZ?”  Is it something we really need?  Could we easily live without it?  Will it really improve our life as much as we think it will?  Are the advertisers speaking the truth, or are they lying?  Do we already own something that could do what this new widget claims to do?  And if we have to go into debt to purchase the item, what will this item REALLY cost us once we add all the interest to the debt?  Where are we going to keep this item?  Who’s going to be responsible for cleaning it and/or keeping it in working order?  And if we still decide we want it, can we find it cheaper somewhere else?  Will I see five of them at Goodwill next week?

See what I mean?  It’s easier for me to just pass on making the purchase.  But please don’t talk to me about having too many books!  ~smile~  I personally don’t think there’s any such thing as too many books!  ~big grin~

“Over here with that new bookshelf, dear!”

A week and a half ago we were priviledged to attend the Answers in Genesis conference that was held in Grand Rapids.  The conference featured Ken Ham, Carl Kerby, and Buddy Davis.  Wayne and I had attended the AIG conference in Branson, MO this summer, so some of what we heard was a bit of a refresher.  (But, we’re growing older, and refreshers aren’t a bad thing anymore!)  But it was all new material for our kids.  And Carl especially soaked it in.  It was also a delight to get to chate with Ken, Carl, and Buddy. 

One thing I appreciated at the conference was the ease with which the speakers utilized Power Point.  The vast majority of the time they switched effortlessly between their slides, even with the bright lights shining on their laptop screens.  I wondered if it was because they had a lcd monitor in their laptop.  I wondered if that made it easier for them to read under the bright lights.

Anyway, what does this conference have to do with what I’ve been reading lately.  Well, when Wayne and I were at the conference in Branson, we purchased the “library pack.”  It was a box FULL of books and DVDs.  In fact, it was so full that after we opened it at our hotel room to peak through all our new treasures, we couldn’t figure out how to fit all those treasures back into the box!  ~grin~  Well, one of the books in that library pack was “Genesis of a Legacy” by Ken and Steve Ham. 

Well, having so many items to choose from, this book wasn’t at the top of my “to-read” list.  That is, until Ken recommended it at the conference.  See, the subtitle of this book is “Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World.”  Now that appealed to me much more than the original title.  I think they’ve reprinted the book with the old subtitle as the new title, but the content seems to be the same.

So, upon the conclusion of the conference, I dusted off my copy of the book, and I’ve been enjoying it.  I’ve got just one more chapter until I’m done.  But I’ve appreciated this book for a number of reasons.

First, it provides an opportunity to get to know the Ham families.  Sometimes when people are such famous speakers, you wonder what their lives are really like.  While this book isn’t a biography, and it doesn’t tell the “family secrets,” it does provide a glimpse into their childhoods.

Second, I appreciate the honor they give throughout the book to both of their parents, but especially to their dad.  They readily admit that their dad didn’t have all the answers, especially when the teaching of the creation of the world became a widespread debate.  While his dad didn’t know the science to defend his position, he stood firm on the Word of God.  Throughout the book, the authors continually honor their parents.  How refreshing in a day and age in which most people are blaming their parents for all the problems they have!

One of the main points in the book is that every parent will leave a legacy to their children.  It’s just a matter of what type of legacy will be left for future generations.  Will it be a godly, lasting legacy, as in the case of Martin Luthor, or will it be an ungodly, hopeless legacy, as in the case of Charles Darwin?  The choice is up to the parents, and unfortunately, not enough parents are making this a choice.  They just drift through the child-raising years without thinking about it.  And by not choosing to leave a godly legacy, they are allowing their children to be raised in secular humanism in a post-modern world.  Scary.

Throughout the book, the authors constantly affirm and reaffirm that the only way to leave a godly legacy is to base it on the Word of God.  All other material is like shifting sand.  Only the Word of God will endure the test of time.  The Word is relevant for all of life… from child-raising, to marriage relationships… from telling the history of the universe to explaining why their is suffering in the world.  This book must be read and applied to all areas of life.  It must be our starting point for how we look at and interpret life.  However, the Bible is not to be held in higher esteem than its Author.  A personal relationship with God is what will matter for all eternity.

As parents, we must be convicted of the importance of training our children to be a godly generation.  If not, Christ could be completely eradicated from our family line within just one generation.  We must also have a personal relationship with Jesus, and we need to be evangelistic in raising our children.  They must have their own relationship with Christ. 

I also appreciate the emphasis the authors give on Dads doing the leading in the family.  Again, this is a very Biblical concept, but in our culture it’s often looked down on.  Dads need to assume the spiritual leadership in the family, with moms playing the supporting role.  Moms may need to make a conscious effort to make sure role-reversal does not occur.

As parents we need to create an environment in our homes that will readily allow our children to meet Jesus and grow in their walk with Him.  This is done by communicating the content and the authority of the Word of God.  The Bible is real, and it is the ultimate authority for how we live our lives.  It provides truth for all areas of life.  It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children these things so they have a solid foundation of what truth is.  In this post-modern world of no absolutes and tolerance, our children will be constantly bombarded by anti-God philosophies.  We need to prepare them for this as best we can.

Of course, God is in ultimate control, and we have no need to panic or fear.  But we do need to step up to the plate and do what God created parents to do… train and instruct their children.

We need to be discerning about what our children are reading/watching/playing/etc.  Have we read their textbooks on the lookout for anit-God rhetoric or teachings?  Are we explaining to them the abundance of evolutionary ideas that are subtly crammed down our throats in modern movies?  Do we know what their teachers believe and are teaching?  Are we teaching our children how to be discerning?  Can they recognize the difference between good and evil, and if they can, can they defend their beliefs with Scripture?

The choices we make when it comes to where our children are educated are vital.  These decisions should not be made lightly, but rather with much prayer.  Even children in Christian schools are fed secular humanism.  Secular philosophies CANNOT be Christianized by an attempt to add God to it.  We will be responsible before God for how we train our children in the matter of truth.

We need to be in the Word and led by the Spirit.  We are not to discipline out of anger or frustration, but out of love and control.  We need God’s guidance and truth when raising our children.  If we try to raise them to be “good” without training them in the things of God, we will have labored in vain.

Wow!  What a responsibility the Lord has given us!  How are we doing?  In what areas are we doing okay?  In what areas do we need His help to improve?  Maybe that will require learning to be more discerning yourself.  With His help, you can be the parent He intended you to be.

Eek!  It’s been awhile since I’ve last written.  I can’t say things have been busy on this end, but I can say that someone has been sick every day for almost two full weeks.  And that’s enough to keep any mother busy, especially when she’s one of those who are “under the weather!”

So, what’s been happening besides collecting used Kleenex, disinfecting everything in site, and running to the local store for medicine, thereby assuring a demand for continued jobs in retail?

1- I started my list of things to do in 2009.  Yes, I know.  It’s a tad early.  But if I don’t plan ahead and think things through, I find that things don’t get done that I had hoped would get done.  Last year I had a list of about 30 things I wanted to accomplish in the course of the year.  I got about half of them done.  Some of the remainders made the cut for 2009.  Others were deemed “not important” and taken off the list.  Some of the things I accomplished in 2008 were brought back for 2009.  Things like canning and reading through the Bible.  So, I’m taking a few days to evaluate where I want to be at the end of next year.  What do I want to be different?  How can I (practically) bring about those changes?

2- My hubby is deer hunting.  Opening day was yesterday.  We’ve got our annual challenge going on again.  ~grin~  Who’ll bag more fresh meat?  My hubby with his rifle, or me with our mouse traps?  ~big grin~  So far I’m winning.  Five mice to zero deer!

3- I read a really good book last week.  “The Heavenly Man” by Brother Yum.  This is the story of a Chinese Christian.  The persecution he endured bolstered his faith.  What a man of God!  Oh, to have a faith like that!  But faith like that is not possible without devouring His Word.  And so, I pray for a continually renewed interest in my “love-letter” from God.

4- My family attended to local “Answers in Genesis” conference this past week.  Carl Kerby and Ken Ham were the speakers.  We all learned a lot.  Carl, especially, soaked in the information.  One of the highlights was getting to talk with Ken Ham, Carl Kerby, and Buddy Davis!  What godly examples!  These men and their families need our prayer as well.  If you don’t believe me, do a search on “Answers in Genesis” or “Ken Ham” and see what you find.  We thoroughly enjoyed The Creation Museum (in Kentucky), but we were appalled to discover the need for security.  A lot of fallen people would like to see the “foolishness” of the gospel silenced.

5- We picked up all the outdoor things and got a big load of wood into the garage from the woodpile.  We’re now ready for ol’ man winter!

6- As a family we started memorizing Psalm 63.  We work on a verse every day.  We go over it at mealtime.  Unlike most American families, we eat most of our means together.  (Except for dear hubby who works during lunch!)  So, this seems to be working well.  It’s so important for kids (and adults!) to hide God’s Word in their hearts.  I’ll try to keep you posted as to how this is going for us.

7- That’s all from this end.  This week I hope to get our Christmas letter written, and get plastic up on the windows.  (Which, of course, involves washing the fingerprints from them first!)

I remember the first time I took Carl to the movie theater.  We saw The Crocodile Hunter with Steve Irwin.  I don’t remember how old Carl was, but he was enamored with everything… from the huge buckets of popcorn to the reclining theater seating.  From all the people to the loudness of the sound system. 

Of course, Steve Irwin was one of Carl’s biggest heros.  As a young boy, Carl loved watching him on TV whenever we were on vacation or at my parents’ house.  (We don’t have cable, and hence, no Animal Planet at our house.)  It was a sad day at our house when Steve passed away.  We learned a lot about him and about croc’s from his TV show, but we don’t know what he believed about Jesus.  Nothing on any of his shows gives any indication one way or another. 

It reminds me of a little sign my Grandmother used to have by her kitchen window: Only one life will soon be past.  Only what’s done for Christ will last.

How true that is.  Yes, I need to live life to the fullest.  But more importantly, I need to make sure that I’m doing what He wants me to do.

Are you?

As I hear about the “blizzard” that struck the east coast recently, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a certain trip I took to Chicago last year.

Friends of ours were flying out of Chicago to Kenya.  They had asked me months before if I would take them.  “Sure, no problem,” I responded.  Dropping them off went fine, and two weeks later we were to go get them and bring them back home.  Well, Wayne had to work, so I invited my friend Kristie to go along.  I tempted her with the promise of a bit of geocaching, and she was totally on board.

The night before we were to leave, a blizzard struck.  It snowed and blowed all night.  The roads were nearly impassable.  I told Kristie I’d meet her at church at 9:30.  I had to leave WAY early to get there on time.  I waited until 10:00, and still no Kristie.  I finally got ahold of her, and she was stuck in her driveway, “but the tow guy is on his way to pull me out!”  She finally got on the road, and she managed to do a 360 before she even pulled off her road!

She finally made it to church, but it took her twice as long as normal to get there.  Kiss any chance of caching goodbye!  But once she got there, we were on our way.

I can’t tell you how many cars we saw in the ditch.  We couldn’t count that high!  Well, we could, but it was nothing to pass 10 cars in one heap in the ditch.  So, we gave up counting cars and started to count semi’s in the ditch.  I think we got into the 20s.  The roads were bad.  Very slow-going.  But we took our time, and we got to the airport right when their flight was due to land.

We raced into the airport, only to sit and wait for their flight to dock and unboard.  We were surrounded by people with crying kids, people wheeling their Delsey luggage, people on their cell phones, people wondering how they’re going to get to where they need to be.

Within a half hour, we had our friends with us, and it was back to the van.  But who was ready for the long drive back home?  They had just spent a day traveling.  And we were equally exhausted.  But by the grace of God, the roads were much better, and we could even dream about going the speed limit!  (We went about 10-25 miles per hour the whole way to Chicago!)

I’m normally the kind of person who prefers to stay home in bad weather.  I like to make a mug of hot chocolate and throw another log in the woodburner.  I like to watch the snow swirl around the trees in the backyard and the birds eating at the feeders.  But just this once it was a bit exciting to be out in a wintery wonderland of blizzard!

Well, I’m still working my way through “Living by the Book.”  And I’m still enjoying that one.  But it’s slow-going because I need to apply it as I read it.

So, I need something else I can read at the same time.  Nothing’s been grabbing my attention… until yesterday.

Yesterday Alicia and I went out looking for a “new” winter coat and a “new” pair of Sunday Shoes.  We visited about six thrift shops, and I got a bookcase full of “new” books!  (And they ranged from a dime to a quarter each!)  Now my problem isn’t that I don’t have anything that grabs my attention.  Rather my new problem is that I have a dozen books that all look good!

~sigh~

Too many books… Too little time.

I heard something a few months ago, well, actually it’s probably been more like a year ago, but I just can’t get it out of my mind.  When I was growing up, I thought some of my peers were doing some pretty stupid stuff, but this really tops the cake.

I hesitate writing about this, lest I give any younger readers any ideas.  But then I figured they already knew about it.  So, I’m writing this as a warning to parents or to anyone who works with young people.

It seems that when young people today get together they enjoy “pharm parties.”  Everyone coming to the party will go through their medicine cabinets at home and grab a few of this pill and a few of that pill.  When they get to the party, all the pills are thrown into a big bowl, and eat them like M&Ms.  It doesn’t matter what’s in the bowl: ibuprofin, lipitor, nexium, lexapro, alli, zocor…  Some sources say the more potent the better.

I say, “How foolish!”

Kids today are not stupid.  They know how to read labels.  They know  the potential side-effects of these various medications.  Or at least they are internet-savy enough to find out.  So, why are kids doing this?  Why are kids cutting?  Why is suicide among 10-14 years olds up… again?

I believe it’s because kids today have little hope.  I heard on the radio today that only 20% of kids are raised in what used to be a “normal” family.   What is a “normal” family?  It’s a family with a mom and a dad who are married to each other and who have kids with each other and no one else.  The vast majority of kids are being raised in single-parent homes or blended homes.  I have often seen the needs/desires of kids in these circumstances being pushed aside to make way for the needs of the parent with whom they are living.  For example, “Mom’s too busy to cook tonight, so you’ll have to grab something from McD’s.  She’s got a hot date.”  The kids are left raising themselves.  Where is the love, encouragment, and support they need?  It’s out on a “hot date.”

Another reason, and likely the largest reason of all, is the lack of a Biblical foundation.  Most kids are not raised according to Biblical principles.  Yes, that may sound old-fashioned, but it’s true.  Start with Genesis.  Kids are taught in schools that they are just glorified apes.  Millions of years ago, they would have been goop.  But we are here because we evolved out of that goop, out of that ameboa-creature, out of that fish, out of that monkey, and so on.  What hope is there in that? 

Contrast it with what Scripture says: “We were created in the image of God.”  God fashioned us.  He designed us.  He gave us a purpose.  We have a role to play.  We have responsibilities.  Now we’ve got a reason to get up in the morning.  Now we’ve got a reason to “just say no” be it to sex, alcohol, cutting, or pharm parties.

Our kids need to hear this message.  They need to hear it loudly and clearly.  Who will tell them?  Will you?

Ah, what a topic, huh?  But you know, if your feet aren’t happy, chances are you aren’t happy either!  It’s irritating to have a small sore on your foot and have to stand on it all day while at work.  When I was in the workforce (before becoming employeed FULL-time with the birth of our oldest), I spent most of my time at a desk, so good footware wasn’t essential, but my husband spends most of his workday on his feet.  So, we tend to spend a bit more and search a bit more diligently for good shoes.

When he was teaching, he liked his Rockports.  They lasted a long time, but after being mended a couple times, they finally gave up the ghost.  So, when this happened, (about two years ago) we went shoe shopping.  This time he got two pairs of shoes.  I believe one of the pair was still Rockports, but I think the other pair is from Clarks shoes.  With two pairs of good shoes, he can alternate between the two pairs, and this is supposed to help them last longer.  (And if one pair needs to go in for repairs, he still has another pair to wear!)  So far, this strategy has been working well.  I just checked the pair of shoes he’s not wearing today, and they’re in great shape.

So, yes, we paid a bit more initially for two pairs of good shoes, but they have lasted him a long time already.  And by alternating the pairs, they should last for a lot longer.  Not only did the price pay for itself by not having to purchase more pairs of cheaper shoes, but I have a happy husband because his feet don’t hurt.  And that is PRICELESS!  ~grin~

We came up with this game when our youngest was too little to play a regular board game.  We played it once when our daughter had a friend over, and the next time that friend came over, this was the game she wanted to play.

You’ll need:
2 teams
a timer of some sort, even a second hand on a clock is fine
a kid’s book
a way of keeping track of points  (Either pencil and paper or moving around a game board.)

We play for a set amount of time.  Whoever got the most right in 15 minutes is the winner.

Here’s how to play:  One team has the kid’s book.  Someone on the team opens it up and without looking points at a word.  Let’s say he’s got the book “Brown Bear, Brown Bear.”  He opens it up and his finger lands closest to the word “children.”

The other team has a set amount of time (30 seconds to a minute) to come up with a song that has the word “children” in it.

The song that came to my mind was the song “We are the world.  We are the children.”  (I know I’m dating myself!)  So, if I came up with that song in the alloted time, I’d get a point or I’d get to move my guy ahead one square on the game board.  (Or add a point to my tally.)

You’ll have to make up some other rules as you go.  For example, do you count nursery rhymes?  Are they really songs?   If one team doesn’t think of a song, does that word get passed to the other team for a chance at a “bonus point?”  Make the rules so they’re easy enough for the youngest child to understand.

And have fun!

Ask my kids what they’re getting for Christmas this year, and they’ll tell you.  They know.  At least they know what they’re getting from dear ol’ mom and dad.  Carl’s getting a new shelf for his room.  Alicia’s getting a denim quilt for her bed (if I ever get the umph to get working on it again!).  And Justin’s getting an afghan that I knit for him.  (That’s already done.  No sweat there!)

We decided a few years ago that Christmas was just way out of control.  The kids were swamped with gifts and nowhere to put them.  So, we decided that each kid would get a “special” hand-made gift from us, and that we’d go on a family vacation with the money we otherwise would have spent on gifts.

That Christmas was the start of something good.  Maybe not for the retailers, but at least for our family.  The February after Christmas, we packed up the family, shipped Scout off to Kristie’s, and away we went.  After spending almost a week in Florida with my parents, we headed west.  To the big Lone Star State of Texas.  We had a fabulous time!  Oh, I’m sure most kids would prefer an xbox 360, a new skateboard, new clothes or the latest cell phone upgrade.  But our kids enjoyed exploring the Toilet Seat Museum, walking in real dinosaur tracks, visiting the Alamo, seeing the site of the Texas City disaster, appreciating the power of a hurricane by seeing its aftermath, watching money being printed, walking out the route of Kennedy’s motorcade in Dallas, and the list goes on and on and on.

I may be able to tell you what gifts our kids are getting for Christmas this year, but we have yet to decide where to go on vacation.  Maybe we need to re-visit Orlando.  It’s been awhile since we experienced the Holy Land, and if we wait much longer, Justin won’t be thrilled by the Green Meadow’s Petting Farm. 

One of the best parts about planning a vacation as a Christmas gift is the fact that I don’t have to wrap it.  There’s no post-midnight assembly required.  No missing parts or dead batteries.  And Wayne and I get to enjoy the gift as well.

Seriously though, it allows the focus of our Christmas morning to be on Jesus rather than on gifts.  Because after all, He is the One who gave us the greatest gift we ever received!

So, if you’re swamped just thinking about Christmas, maybe you want to put that money toward a family vacation.  If you do, you’ll find the holidays much more enjoyable.

Now, where’d I put that mug of hot chocolate? …